Opening statements:

Over the past two years, I’ve been falsely accused of domestic violence and stalking—serious and entirely untrue allegations. These claims have been part of a smear campaign fueled by misinformation and misrepresentation, intended to damage my reputation, isolate me from the people and communities I care about, and punish me for stepping away from a relationship that had become emotionally and physically harmful. Having devoted much of my life to helping others, being accused of something so completely at odds with who I am has been deeply painful. It has shaken relationships, cast doubt, and brought confusion into spaces that once felt safe. And so I write these words with a heavy heart—but also with a clear conscience—knowing that my intentions are pure and that what I’m about to share is grounded in integrity.

After a long period of reflection—much of it in solitude—I’ve come to understand that part of my healing involves sharing my truth openly, especially given how public the accusations have become, including a recent social media post showing pictures of bruises. I also recognize that my experiences put me in a unique position to share an important message with my friends and community about fairness, discernment, and integrity—values that help build trust in any community. I’m not here to place blame or point fingers. My intention is simply to share my side—fully supported by evidence, and verifiable facts—and to invite thoughtful reflection.

My only ask is that you take a moment to sincerely reflect on our shared values: what it truly means to stand for nonviolence and honesty, and what it costs our collective when those values are absent. To the women in particular: what impact does it have when someone makes false allegations of domestic violence or stalking, diverting attention from real victims who genuinely need and deserve our belief and full support? And how can we create space to better understand the male experience in situations like these?

I’ll begin with a summary of the key events, followed by a more detailed account of what happened, supported by evidence such as videos, audio recordings, photos, and messages. I’ll also provide a brief overview of the legal process I’ve gone through. My intention isn’t to persuade, but simply to offer context so you can form your own conclusions about what occurred. I’ll end by sharing a few closing reflections.

Thank you for taking the time to listen.

Summary of Key Events

All events shared here are fully supported by evidence, including audio and video recordings, photos, text messages, witness accounts, affidavits and other official documents.

During my relationship with my former partner, M, there were multiple incidents of aggression and physical altercations instigated by M. These included blocking me from leaving the apartment, pushing and hitting me, sitting on top of me for extended periods—making it difficult to breathe—placing hands on my throat, and putting me in a headlock. Some of these incidents left me with visible scratches and bruises. Specific incidents occurred on January 3, 2023; January 17, 2023; June 29, 2023; July 8, 2023; July 11, 2023; and November 3, 2023. Each is detailed below with relevant supporting evidence. M was also repeatedly dishonest, with several incidents outlined below, along with supporting evidence.

January 17, 2023: The audio recordings from this incident capture M threatening to hit me, becoming physical and putting hands on me, and sitting on top of me for more than 7 minutes, making it hard for me to breathe, all while acknowledging that her behavior was wrong. At one point, she placed her hands on my throat and asked, "How do you think it feels?" I repeatedly expressed that I didn’t feel safe and screamed in pain several times throughout the interaction. What was particularly disturbing during the later part of this interaction was how calm M appeared to me, even when I was distressed, terrified, and in pain. This incident left me with multiple scratches and bruises.

June 29, 2023: The audio recording from this incident captures M hitting me, mocking my discomfort while threatening to escalate the situation further.

July 8, 2023: The incident escalated after M discovered that I had taken back the engagement ring, which had become legally mine following the end of our relationship. In this incident, captured on multiple video recordings, M blocked me from leaving the apartment and held me there against my will for over 30 minutes while demanding the return of the ring." Fearing for my safety, I agreed to return the ring, which I had kept outside the apartment, if she would simply let me leave to retrieve it. Even then, she refused to let me go. During this incident, M pushed me multiple times, forcefully took my phone—which I was using to record the situation and which was my only means of safety—causing both of us to fall, and put me in a headlock. This incident left me with a strained neck, several scratches, and a bruise on my back.

July 11, 2023 - July 14, 2023: On multiple recorded conversations, M admits to her physical aggression during the July 8, 2023 incident. In a recorded conversation, she states, “I’m not saying I didn’t do the things that I did. Something splits in my brain when someone touches me, and I go into abuse mode.” In another recorded conversation, M suggests that "a good man" should remain passive and do nothing—even when being pushed, having hands placed around his neck, or being put in a headlock. On July 13, 2023, she explained the bruises on her arm and leg, admitting, "The bruises happened because we fell on the floor. All of these—referring to the bruises on her arm—happened because we fell on the floor... The bruises on my leg happened because I had your phone between my legs." In another recorded conversation, she further acknowledged that I never hit her. It’s also important to note that M was involved in a bicycle accident around the same time, which caused injuries and bruising on her arm—photos of which are included below.

August 19, 2023: As the lease on our shared apartment was ending, I gave M $5,000 to help her move out and secure a new place. After receiving this, along with $2,500 from a GoFundMe campaign, nearly two months after our relationship had ended, M moved out and went to Burning Man.

November 1, 2023: After I blocked M's number, she began messaging me from a new one, sending photos of bruises on her arm—bruises she had previously admitted were not caused by me—and warning me to stay away from her friends. This message came the day after a friend of mine posted photos from our trip to Japan, which took place after M and I had separated. M also contacted this friend, sending the same photos of bruises that she had previously indicated were not caused by me, now alleging abuse.

November 3, 2023: At a friend’s birthday gathering, M followed me around, repeatedly insisting that I leave. Later that night, a physical altercation occurred when M came very close to me, pressing her body against mine. When I tried to move away, she shoved me. The host then asked M to leave, but she refused.

November 2023 - December 2023: M began posting allegations of abuse on her social media account. These posts were accompanied by hashtags such as #narcissisticabuse, #NoMore, #BeTheChange, and #WomenSupportingWomen.

December 11, 2023 - April 9, 2025: After receiving a series of escalating texts from M and following the and events of November 3, 2023, growing increasingly concerned for my safety, I filed a domestic incident report with the police. Police investigation led to M’s arrest. After reviewing the evidence, the assistant district attorney obtained a criminal order of protection on my behalf for the charge of criminal obstruction of breathing and circulation. On January 24, 2024, while the Order of Protection referenced above was still in effect, I unexpectedly encountered M at a RASA music event at a venue called Gospel. Despite the order, M stood close to me, appearing to record or take pictures of me with her phone from a short distance, and did not leave the venue. She also asked the event’s manager to have me removed, and later contacted the police to come to the venue, claiming she was working at Gospel. She later filed a domestic incident report with the police and, under oath, submitted a family offense petition alleging that I had been stalking her at her workplace. Based on the allegations in her family offense petition filed on January 26, 2024, M was granted an ex-parte temporary order of protection. Ex parte in civil procedure refers to motions for orders that can be granted without waiting for a response from the other side until further hearing can be held. M later attempted to use the ex-parte order of protection she received from Family Court as bargaining tool to persuade me to request the withdrawal of the criminal order of protection issued against her. On June 25, 2025, in a letter to the judge, M’s court-appointed attorney requested to be relieved from representing her. On July 18, 2024, and August 23, 2024, I obtained affidavits from RASA’s CEO and Gospel’s Director of Operations, both refuting M’s claims of employment at RASA and Gospel, respectively. On March 15, 2025 and April 2, 2025, my attorney subpoenaed Gospel, RASA and M for her employment records at Gospel and RASA. On March 27, 2025, I filed a Violation of Order of Protection petition with Family Court, alleging that M’s conduct and her stay at the Gospel were in violation of the order of protection issued by the Criminal Court, and that she had no legitimate reason for standing close to me, staying at the event, asking the manager to remove me, and for calling the police on me. On April 6, 2025, after a pressuring push for evidence and facing a Violation of Order of Protection petition, just 16 days before our the trial, M reached out with a settlement offer indicating she would withdraw her petition. On April 10, 2025—21 months after ending my relationship with M, I saw a window of opportunity to close this traumatic chapter of my life. I chose peace over being right. I mistakenly took M’s offer to withdraw as well-intentioned, however, about three hours after we withdrew our petitions, M resumed targeting me again on social media—suggesting that I am mentally ill and a narcissist, spreading misinformation about the legal process, posting photos of bruises she had previously admitted were not caused by me, once again claiming I was stalking her, and asking her community to steer clear of me for their safety. Of note, at the time of our settlement, I had submitted a witness list and over 30 items into evidence, while M, just 16 days before the trial, well past the deadline for submitting evidence, had submitted none.

Detailed Accounts of Incidences Along with Supporting Evidence

January 3, 2023

Out of concern for my safety, I locked myself in the bedroom while M, my former partner, tried to force the door open.

January 17, 2023

On this night, M had positioned herself on the bed in a way that didn’t leave much room for me to lie down comfortably. After asking her numerous times to move, I ended up sliding the pillow she was resting on to the other side to make a little space for myself—and that’s when everything that followed began to unfold.

Audio 1 Highlights

Intro – The recording begins with me gently and repeatedly asking M to make space for me on the bed. This continues for at least 1 minute and 40 seconds.

~1:48 – M accuses me of pushing her.

~1:54 – I respond by assuring her that I didn’t push her, only her pillow.

~1:56 – M pushes me and admits to doing so.

~2:22 – M again accuses me of pushing her. I repeat that I only pushed the pillow.

~2:30 – M accuses me of putting my hands on her. I continue to reassure her that I only pushed the pillow.

~2:49 – I continue asking M to make space for me on the bed.

~3:26 – M escalates her accusation, saying, “You put your finger on my throat and you pushed me.”

~4:17 – M tells me to either cuddle with her or go sleep on the couch.

~4:44, ~5:18, ~5:27 – M repeats that I can cuddle with her.

~6:13 – M starts getting physical with me. I’m heard saying, “Now you're putting your hands on me.” M is heard justifying her action and goes on to say, “It doesn’t feel good, does it? You don’t like how it feels, does it?”

~7:14 – M again says I can cuddle with her.

~7:58 – M says, “You also put your fucking hands on me, so I’m going to put my hands on you.”

~8:23 – M accuses me of disturbing her peace and says she will disturb mine in return.

Audio 2 Highlights

Intro – Unable to sleep on the couch, I begin recording as I again ask M to move over—she is still occupying the bed in a way that didn’t leave much room for me to lie down comfortably.

~0:27 – M accuses me of being aggressive, then says I could cuddle with her.

~0:58 – M threatens to hit me

~1:06 – M accuses me of hurting her, saying, “You fucking hurt me… get the fuck away from me. You either go sleep alone or you cuddle with me.”

Audio 3 Highlights

Intro - The audio begins with M sitting on top of me, despite my repeated requests for her to get off. At times, out of desperation, I say whatever she wants me to say or believe, just to get her to stop and get off me.

~ 1:02 – M is still sitting on top of me. I tell her, “Get off of me right now. You are on top of me. You are making it hard for me to breathe. Please.”

~ 2:13 – M remains on top of me. I continue asking her calmly to get off, telling her, “You’re really crushing my chest."

~ 3:51 – M is still sitting on me as I repeatedly ask her to get off. I say, "This is so wrong, what you’re doing." She responds, "Yes, I agree," but then continues trying to convince me that I did something wrong to deserve this treatment.

~ 4:28 – M now changes her version of the events for the third time, claiming, "You fucking shoved me while I was sleeping." This is inconsistent with the beginning of the first audio, where she was awake and talking.

~ 4:49 – M is still sitting on me. I say, "You got your point across.” M replies, "I don’t know if I did yet," and demands an apology.

~ 5:14 – I can be heard saying loudly, "You are crushing me, please get off!" and adding, "I’m trying to get up, but you’re not letting me." She acknowledges, "I realize that."

~ 5:31 – I scream in pain.

~ 5:47 – I say, "I don’t feel safe here."

~ 5:52 – M is again heard saying, “You fucking shoved me while I was asleep."

~ 5:55 – I make a choking sound and say, "You have your hand on my... please don’t have your hand on me, don’t get physical with me." I plead, "I’m trying to get up, please... this isn’t okay, I didn’t do this to you." M replies, “Yes. It’s not okay."

~ 6:15 – I repeat, "I don’t feel safe."

~ 6:22 – You can hear me scream in pain in rapid succession.

~6:28 – I say, "Please, you’re being physical with me,” to which M replies, "Yes, I know. It doesn’t feel good, does it?"

~ 6:31 – I scream, "You have your hand on my fucking throat! Please,” M responds, "How do you think it feels?"

~ 6:40 – I say, "This is not okay," and M replies, "No, it’s not okay. I agree... I agree, it’s not okay."

~ 6:59 – I ask M, "What are you doing?" She responds, "I’m teaching you a lesson," and goes on to repeat, "You shoved me while I was asleep... you shoved me in my throat while I was sleeping." I insist again that she was not asleep when this all started.

~ 7:15 – Desperately, I tell M, "I’ve learned my lesson, please get off of me… please get off of me," but she refuses, saying, "No."

~ 7:22 – I state again, "This is not okay," to which M replies, "I know."

~ 7:37 - I scream, "You are hurting me.”

Summary

In this incident, M's accusations change over time. She initially claimed that I pushed her, later alleging that I placed my finger on her throat and pushed her. She eventually accused me of pushing her while she was asleep. However, as heard in the first audio recording, she was awake and speaking at the beginning of the incident. Additionally, on January 24, 2024, she admitted, “You have never intentionally laid hands on me."

Despite her accusations, M invited me to cuddle with her several times. Throughout the recordings, you can hear M threatening to hit me, admitting to being physical with me, and acknowledging that her behavior was wrong—yet she continued with it. For more than 7 minutes, she sat on top of me while I repeatedly plead for her to get off, as it was making it hard for me to breathe. She also placed her hands on my throat and asked, "How do you think it feels?" I expressed multiple times that I didn’t feel safe, and there were a number of times when I screamed in pain. What was particularly disturbing in the later part of the interaction—captured in the third audio recording—was how calm M appeared and sounded to me, even as I was distressed, terrified, and in pain.

This incident left multiple scratches and bruises on my arm and back.

January 21, 2023 & January 24, 2023

M repeatedly accused me of “shoving her in her sleep.” I eventually confronted her with earlier audio recordings. On January 21, 2023, M admitted to having lied in the past. And faced with evidence, on January 24, 2023, M admitted, “You have never intentionally laid hands on me.”

Following the incident on January 17, 2023, I ended my relationship with M due to concerns for my safety and because I had reached my limit with her dishonesty—something she admitted to on several occasions, including in an audio recording dated January 21, 2023. However, despite my offer of financial support, including covering her rent, she refused to move out.

June 29, 2023

The recording begins with me saying, “Don’t get physical with me.” Shortly afterward, a sound heard indicating M hitting me, followed by me saying, “Don’t touch me like that.” A few moments later, a similar sound occurs, followed by me audibly reacting in pain. M’s voice can then be heard making a mocking remark. Soon after, she is heard saying, “This will escalate.”

July 8, 2023

Following the most recent incident, I made the decision to end the relationship. That incident, along with several others during our time together, led me to believe it was no longer appropriate for her to keep the engagement ring. I retrieved the ring, as it had become my legal property. In the state where we lived, an engagement ring is considered a conditional gift—given with the expectation of marriage. In states that follow conditional gift or no-fault laws, if an engagement is broken or the wedding is called off for any reason, the ring legally belongs to the person who purchased it.

After retrieving the ring, a confrontation occurred in the apartment involving M. She physically blocked my exit, pushed me multiple times, and repeatedly demanded the return of the ring. I explained that I did not have the ring on me and offered to retrieve it if I was allowed to leave. Despite my repeated explanations and requests, I was not permitted to exit and was held in the apartment against my will for over 30 minutes. These events are supported by the accompanying video and audio recordings. Please note the timestamps in the video—especially the first and last—which are verified by the included screenshots from the beginning of the first and last videos, confirming when the recordings were made.

While M denies getting physical with me in front of the camera, the audio recordings taken after the incident—which I’ve included below—capture her admitting to making physical contact. This includes physically pushing me, taking my phone—which was my only means of staying safe in order to prevent me from recording—and putting me in a headlock.

If I were the abusive person M has portrayed me to be, would I have remained peaceful while being confined against my will for over 30 minutes and being pushed repeatedly during that time?

As a result of the incident, I sustained scratches on my arm and hand when M attempted to take my phone—my only means of safety—along with a bruise on my back and a strained neck from being placed in a headlock.

July 11, 2023

There are two audio recordings from this day.

Audio 1

In this recording, I confront M about her pattern of becoming physical during conflicts. Her response is revealing: rather than mentioning any physical abuse or mistreatment—claims she would later falsely make against me months after moving out—she said the worst thing I had done was compare her to her mother.

At timestamp 00:34, I say, “If something has happened a few times—you’ve gotten physical with me a few times—what’s to stop it from happening again?” M doesn’t deny this. Instead, she says she’ll give a “broad spectrum” answer and claims she’s capable of letting things go.

When I specifically confront her about putting me in a headlock, she replies, “You’ve done more than that.” I ask, “How so?” and she answers, “You compared me to my mother.”

Audio 2

In this recording, M admits to physically preventing me from leaving and to pushing me multiple times. While she repeatedly claims that I "touched her," she never once accuses me of hitting her—because that never happened.

Shortly after the recording begins, M is heard saying, “If you touch me physically, I fight back.” I respond, “I did not touch you physically. Every time I stepped toward the door, you pushed me—multiple times.” M then acknowledges that she did not allow me to leave.

Later in the recording, M says, “If someone is keeping you from going, don’t touch them.” I reply, “I felt threatened. You wouldn’t let me leave, and you were trying to take things out of my hands.”

I later ask her directly, “You didn’t initiate by pushing me? Be honest—didn’t you start pushing me every time I tried to exit?” M responds, “I pushed you a few times, yes.”

July 12, 2023

In this recording M is heard saying ‘I fucked up in lot of way, yes, I fucked up in a lot ways, I should not, I should not have pushed you back …’, she then goes on to say ‘if you had just chosen peace and you had given me back what was mine, there would have not been a problem’ to which I respond ‘I told you I would go get it but you didn’t accept’. She goes on to say ‘because I didn’t trust you’

Please note once again that, at this point in time, M’s only account of my behavior on July 8th—while I was being held against my will for over 30 minutes—was that I “touched her.” It’s also important to note that I made every effort to deescalate the situation, including offering to retrieve the ring for her if she would simply allow me to leave.

July 13, 2023 - Audio 1 - How the bruises happened

In this audio recording, M again admits to following me around and preventing me from leaving by blocking the doorway, pushing me back, touching me, going through my pockets, attempting to take the phone from my hand to stop me from recording causing both of us to fall, and putting me in a headlock. She also describes, on more than one occasion, how the bruises occurred—never once claiming that I hit her or that I inflicted the bruises in any way.

The recording begins with me asking M, “The bruises happened because I was trying to get you out of the way?” She responds, “Because we fell on the floor after it escalated.” I then say, “Why did it escalate? Because you were trying to get the phone out of my hand, no?”

~1:42 — M says, “I’m not saying I didn’t do the things that I did. Something splits in my brain when someone touches me, and I go into abuse mode.”

~2:40 — M is heard saying, “I’m trying to get the phone from you, then we’re struggling, and then we both fall.”

~2:51 — I ask M what she did after we both ended up on the floor. She responds, “I had you in a headlock”

~3:33 — I say, “I was fighting for my life, because you had your hand—or your arm—on my neck.”

~3:51 — M again says, “The bruises happened because we fell on the floor. All these happened because we fell on the floor... the bruises on my leg happened because I had your phone between my legs.”

~4:19 — M admits again that the bruises on her arms were from a fall.

~4:33 — Referring to the bruises on her arm, M says, “This is where I braced the impact.”

Notably, M was involved in a bike accident around the time of this incident, resulting in multiple road rashes and bruises on her arm.

July 13, 2023 - Audio 2

In another recorded conversation from the same day, I confronted M about why she sent photos of her bruised arm to our mutual friends—especially since, in earlier conversations, she had admitted that the bruises were not caused by me.

In the recording, I say, “You know what it looks like when you send those photos.” She responds, “No, to people who know us—no, they know you. They’re not going to judge you, they know you.” She later adds, “They know you’re not a bad guy,” and goes on to say, “I don’t portray you in a bad light.”

July 13, 2023 - Audio 3

In a separate recorded conversation from July 13, 2023, M is heard suggesting that “a good man” should remain passive and do nothing, even when being pushed, having hands placed around his neck, or being put in a headlock.

July 14, 2023

When I found out that M had been confronted by her friend about the bruises, I asked her how she responded. I’m heard saying, “I didn’t do anything to you, though.” M replies, “I said that.” I continue, “I didn’t do anything. I didn’t hit you. Did you tell him I didn’t hit you?” M then says, “No, I said that—I said that you didn’t hit me.”

August 19, 2023

As the lease on our shared apartment was ending, I gave M $5,000 to help her move out and secure a new place. After receiving this, along with $2,500 from a GoFundMe campaign, nearly two months after our relationship had ended, M moved out and went to Burning Man.

November 1, 2023

After I had blocked M’s number, she began messaging me from a new one, sending photos of bruises on her arm—bruises she had previously admitted, in multiple recorded conversations, were not caused by me and that I had not inflicted—and warning me to stay away from her friends.

Notably, I received this text shortly after I stopped paying her cellphone bills—a decision I had clearly communicated to her—and just one day after a friend of mine posted photos from our trip to Japan. That trip took place in September 2023, well after M and I had separated. After seeing the photos of the trip, M also contacted this friend directly and sent her images of bruises, now alleging abuse.

November 3, 2023

At a friend’s birthday gathering at a karaoke bar, I experienced an uncomfortable situation involving M. She followed me around the venue and repeatedly insisted that I leave. Later that night, at the same friend’s apartment, there was a physical altercation where M came very close to me, pressing her body against mine. When I tried to move away, she shoved me. The host then asked M to leave, but she refused. While I do not have any photos, videos, or recordings of the incident, it occurred in a public setting with several witnesses present—including the birthday host, who can speak to what happened. He could also speak to how M’s account of the July 8, 2023, incident—and her explanations of how she sustained bruises—changed and evolved over time, from his perspective.

November and December 2023

M began posting allegations of abuse on her social media platforms. In one of her posts, she wrote, “It is common for narcissists to have anger outbursts and, in more serious situations, become physically abusive.” These posts were accompanied by hashtags such as #narcissisticabuse, #NoMore, #BeTheChange, and #WomenSupportingWomen.

Legal Events

After months of patience—following a series of escalating texts from M, as well as the events of November 3, 2023—I came to the conclusion that I should no longer have to tolerate this kind of behavior. Reflecting on how the events of November 3, 2023 unfolded and how they could have escalated further, I grew increasingly concerned for my safety. As a result, on December 11, 2023, I filed a domestic incident report with the police. Based on their investigation, law enforcement took further action, which included M’s arrest.

After reviewing the evidence, the assistant district attorney obtained a criminal order of protection on my behalf for the charge of criminal obstruction of breathing and circulation.

Among the many conditions in the order, it required M to stay away from me and to refrain from harassing me.

On January 24, 2024, while the Order of Protection referenced above was still in effect, I unexpectedly encountered M at a RASA music event called Gospel. Despite the Order, M appeared to record me—either by taking photos or video—from a very short distance and did not leave the venue. She also asked the event’s manager to have me removed, even though the Order required her to maintain distance and to leave in the event of an accidental encounter. Not only did M stay at the event, but later that night, she also contacted the police to come to the venue, claiming she was working at Gospel. She then filed a domestic incident report and, under oath, submitted a family offense petition, alleging that I had been stalking her at her workplace.

Based on the allegations in her family offense petition filed on January 26, 2024, M was granted an ex-parte temporary order of protection.

Ex parte in civil procedure refers to motions for orders that can be granted without waiting for a response from the other side. Generally, these are orders that are only in place until further hearings can be held, such as a temporary restraining order .

M later attempted to use the ex-parte order of protection she received from Family Court as bargaining tool to persuade me to request the withdrawal of the criminal order of protection issued against her.

On June 25, 2025, in a letter to the judge, M’s court-appointed attorney requested to be relieved from representing her, citing Rule 1.16(c) of the Rules of Professional Conduct, which provides that an attorney may withdraw from representation when the client insists on taking action with which the attorney has a fundamental disagreement (Rule 1.16(c)(4)).

This resulted in significant delays in resolving the case, as a new attorney had to be appointed for M by the court.

On July 18, 2024, and August 23, 2024, I obtained affidavits from RASA’s CEO and Gospel’s Director of Operations, both refuting M’s claims of employment at RASA and Gospel, respectively.

On March 15, 2025, my attorney subpoenaed Gospel and RASA for M’s employment records for the past 3 years.

On March 27, 2025, nearly one year and two months after M filed her petition, I filed a Violation of Order of Protection petition with Family Court, alleging that M’s conduct and her stay at the Gospel were in violation of the order of protection issued by the Criminal Court, and that she had no legitimate reason for standing close to me, taking pictures or videos of me, staying at the event, asking the manager to remove me, and for subsequently calling the police on me.

On April 2, 2025, my attorney subpoenaed M for her employment records at Gospel and RASA.

On April 6, 2025, after a pressuring push for evidence and facing a Violation of Order of Protection petition, just 16 days before our the trial, M reached out with a settlement offer indicating she would withdraw her petition.

On April 9, 2025—21 months after ending my relationship with M, most of which was spent navigating a stressful legal process—I saw a window of opportunity to close this traumatic chapter of my life. I chose peace over being right. I was also relieved to know I would no longer have to be in the same room with her again.

I mistakenly took M’s offer to withdraw as well-intentioned, since she had also told a close friend of mine just days earlier that she wanted to end things and move on. However, about three hours after we withdrew our petitions, M started targeting me again on social media—suggesting that I am mentally ill and a narcissist, spreading misinformation about the legal process, posting photos of bruises she had previously admitted were not caused by me, once again claiming I was stalking her, and asking her community to steer clear of me for their safety.

Of note, at the time of our settlement, I had submitted a witness list and over 30 items into evidence, while M, just 16 days before the trial, well past the deadline for submitting evidence, had submitted none.

Closing thoughts and reflections:

The past three years have undoubtedly been one of the most challenging chapters of my life. I navigated a tumultuous relationship that severely impacted my emotional and physical well-being and safety, and I was later falsely accused of domestic violence and stalking. These experiences have brought immense hardship and left behind deep emotional wounds. While the journey has been incredibly painful, it has also served as a powerful catalyst for growth and resilience. It has also revealed who my true friends are—those relationships I want to pour my heart into and nurture, and those I need to let go of. Furthermore, it has provided me with a unique perspective and a deeply considered stance on important social issues, which I’d like to close with.

Domestic violence is a heartbreaking reality that touches people from all walks of life—regardless of gender, background, or community. Supporting those who’ve been harmed, and ensuring accountability for those who cause harm, is essential for healing and justice. But as we work toward these important goals, it’s just as vital that we stay grounded in values like fairness, discernment, and integrity.

Every voice deserves to be heard with compassion. Every story deserves to be understood in its full complexity. That means taking all allegations of domestic violence seriously—and doing so with a genuine commitment to truth and care for everyone involved.

While it’s true that most survivors of domestic violence are women, it’s also important to acknowledge that men can be victims, too. And in some cases, including my own, people may be wrongly accused. Justice, when it is truly just, makes space for all experiences and ensures that no one is silenced or dismissed.

Integrity asks us to seek the truth—even when it’s uncomfortable, even when it challenges the narratives we expect. It calls on us to listen deeply, investigate thoughtfully, and protect the rights of everyone throughout the process. With discernment, we avoid rushing to judgment, choosing instead to center evidence and actions over unsupported or seemingly convincing allegations.

Creating a system that honors both men’s and women’s experiences isn't about division—it’s about inclusion. It’s about building a response to domestic violence that is compassionate, balanced, and capable of meeting the real and complicated needs of human relationships.

My final thought and prayer is that the seeds of my experience, and the lessons they've carried, take root and grow into a strong and graceful tree of understanding and compassion for everyone who crosses my path.